Family.
as i sat by my bed side, i cant help but to turn on the computer so that i can type my thots down.
im recovering from my fever, flu and sore throat but my youngest sister had to make me shout at her because she called me names. something which i absolutely abhor because as someone junior, she ought to give me the respect that i need. not as if it it not enough, she refused to apologise no matter how my mother told her to do so. call me stubborn or unreasonable, but i need the form of respect. while she was on the net, i pulled out the modem and told her to get out of my room. she sat by the chair and cried and demanded that i plugged it back. of course, something which i refused to do so.
perhaps being the eldest sister, i have the demanding streak in me. i wan my sisters to obey me. why? just because i am older than them by 4 and 6 years respectively and i have seen more than they do. i am doing this for their own good. yeah rite, perhaps some of you might say cos some of you might have been bullied by your elder/eldest siblings. i dun blame you bcos i heard alot of mean stories before. but believe me, your elder/eldest siblings care and love for their own siblings.
ultimate sadness in me while i type this. i dunno how to handle my sister. perhaps it is the kinda phase where they are attempting to learn to be indepedent or rather call it rebellious. perhaps it is the time where they wanna start to explore their own identity. watever it is, not an easy phase to endure, i'd say.
i was not the best kid around when i was much younger. i stayed out late, screamed at my parents and grandparents whenever they refused to give in to my demands. i disobey my parents and grandparents. i waited for them to say sorry to me whenever they beat me up (yes, phyiscal punishment was the norm during my age) and i would ignore them until they said sorry to me. i told them i worked till 12am when the fact was i only worked till 8pm. so that i can go out more.
i applied for my own phone line for my dial up when my mum scolded me for using the only phone line at home, causing engaged tones when pp tried to call thru. i worked alot so tt i could pay the bills. i paid for my own pager bills because my mum didnt see why i needed to have a pager just bcos all my frens had them. i secretly saved $200 to buy my very first mobile phone in 1998 (when i was just 13 years old) and bought a pre paid card so that i could show off. i did everything that my parents didnt wan me to. i pierced 12 earholes when i was at the age of 14. i bleached my hair despite the strict rules in sch. i played police and thieves till late evening. i chatted online for 4-5 hrs and lied to family members tt i was doing my sch project. besides smoking n drinking, i was bad enuff to warrant attention.
i strayed away from everyone in my family because i thot my friends were my everything. often, pp asked me dumb qns like "how would you rank them? family, frens and love." my ans to them were often 1. frens 2. love 3. family.
my family would always be the last one in watever ranking.
i hated the tuition tt my parents gave me. bcos i thot i was smart enuff to make it thru on my own. i hated the meagre pocket money that my mum gave me, so i worked. i hated the curfew that she imposed on me, so i lied. i hated those nagging qns that parents asked, so i said i dunno anything to all the qns that they threw to me. i hated the times when they would ask me where i was gg to and why i was gg out, so i told them i had endless projects which was of course not true. i hated to eat at home because mum's food tasted horrible and i would find excuses to eat out all the time.
but of course, they were all in the past.
i survived it all. i graduated w good PSLE score, i went to a prestigous girls' sch and then to a 6th or 7th ranked jc and finally made it to nus. despite my rebellious ways, i still made it here.
an impt fren came along and taught me the importance of family. she showed me how laughter in family can be so warm and contagious. she showed me how comfortable home can be. she showed me how reliable family members are. she showed me how much my parents love me for who i am. she showed me how much parents would go to protect their children. she showed me how parents can find it so hard to express themselves even they love us so dearly. she showed me that how much effort my mum put in to prepare a meal for us. she made it so easy to start talking to my mum nicely. she taught me what i should to do when arguments occurred. she showed me so much and i dunno how to thank her enough for showing me the light.
i used to rem telling this fren of mine "if my mum cooks a whole chicken, one drumstick would go to my dad, one drumstick to me, one chicken wing to my sister and another one chicken wing to my youngest sister."
parents do love us this much.
in my cpf account, i have an amt that no peers can match up to. but i do not have the opportunity to enjoy family time as much as my peers.
as soon as i was enlightened, i took the opportunity to spend time w my family as much as possible. i come home early whenever i can after sch so that i can have my meals at home. though i dun see my mum alot, i try to talk to her as and when i can. whenever i do part times and have tt little amt to spare, i buy my mum her favourite stuff eg concert tix, cds, bags. i buy my sisters mobile phones tt i can afford. i treat my dad to breakfast whenever i wake up early. i study hard so that they would be proud of me and i know they really are because i am the only person studying a degree in my paternal side. i bring my family out for meals whenever i get my pay. be it a bowl of $2 fishball noodles or a plate of fried rice that may cost $10, we'll enjoy it anyhow and nothing beats the smiles that you see on the dining table.
the point of me saying all these is that i hope that my sisters or rather my youngest sister would learn how to appreciate what im trying to impose on her. i so do not wan anyone to follow my old path. because i've been there, experienced so much and i do not wan her to go thru anything like mine. how many times have we written "frens forever" in the autograph books when we were younger? look, tell me, how many "forever frens" are left now? i dun mean that frens arent reliable. i believe in frenship tt last too. but before u determine whether they are ur forever frens, open ur eyes real big.
barely 2 or even 1, i presume.
you are clearly treading on the old path tt i used to take. my job was everything tt i needed to stay out late and to gain some financial independence. i used to be so crazy over the MIRC bcos i cld find solace in strangers which i thot wasnt present at home. i used to be so proud of my access in popular channels in MIRC. i used to be so proud that i have over 200+ frens in my ICQ list. i used to be so proud when my pager beeped non-stop thru-out the entire day.
for you, u worked the morning shift and u only come home late at nite. u are so crazy over ur habbo hotel and u spent ur hard-earned money buying habbo hotel credits to exchange for intangible furnitures. you are so proud of your msn and frenster because your figures in those are alarming and u beam w pride everything u show us ur msn and frenster.
im nt against u using e internet cos i play the net e entire day when im bored. but there is no need to talk to strangers tt you dunno because u never know the dangers lurking ard in the boundless cyberspace.
but hey, think carefully. wat is the point of all those? when u need a shoulder to cry on, how many are there for you? who really knows how u are like and who really tell u the truth when sth happens?
my duty as the eldest sister is to protect u from harm and to guide u thru ur teenage years. not our parents because our generation and their generation are too different. they do not find familiarity in our fast-paced generation.
im on medication and i can barely keep my eyes opened. im gg to bed soon.
talk to me nicely and i will talk to you nicely. u cant expect me to talk to you nicely bcos u arent giving me the respect tt i need. it isnt easy being the eldest. i have alot of responsibilites that you dun know. i may not be the best eldest sister ard, but surely, i love you.
a fren tt i used to know 5 years back, dawn said "no love can be trusted upon but always rem there is this exception. parents' love would be there eternally."
siblings too.
those of you who dun agree, just simply dun read n dun comment. i aint in the best of mood.
im recovering from my fever, flu and sore throat but my youngest sister had to make me shout at her because she called me names. something which i absolutely abhor because as someone junior, she ought to give me the respect that i need. not as if it it not enough, she refused to apologise no matter how my mother told her to do so. call me stubborn or unreasonable, but i need the form of respect. while she was on the net, i pulled out the modem and told her to get out of my room. she sat by the chair and cried and demanded that i plugged it back. of course, something which i refused to do so.
perhaps being the eldest sister, i have the demanding streak in me. i wan my sisters to obey me. why? just because i am older than them by 4 and 6 years respectively and i have seen more than they do. i am doing this for their own good. yeah rite, perhaps some of you might say cos some of you might have been bullied by your elder/eldest siblings. i dun blame you bcos i heard alot of mean stories before. but believe me, your elder/eldest siblings care and love for their own siblings.
ultimate sadness in me while i type this. i dunno how to handle my sister. perhaps it is the kinda phase where they are attempting to learn to be indepedent or rather call it rebellious. perhaps it is the time where they wanna start to explore their own identity. watever it is, not an easy phase to endure, i'd say.
i was not the best kid around when i was much younger. i stayed out late, screamed at my parents and grandparents whenever they refused to give in to my demands. i disobey my parents and grandparents. i waited for them to say sorry to me whenever they beat me up (yes, phyiscal punishment was the norm during my age) and i would ignore them until they said sorry to me. i told them i worked till 12am when the fact was i only worked till 8pm. so that i can go out more.
i applied for my own phone line for my dial up when my mum scolded me for using the only phone line at home, causing engaged tones when pp tried to call thru. i worked alot so tt i could pay the bills. i paid for my own pager bills because my mum didnt see why i needed to have a pager just bcos all my frens had them. i secretly saved $200 to buy my very first mobile phone in 1998 (when i was just 13 years old) and bought a pre paid card so that i could show off. i did everything that my parents didnt wan me to. i pierced 12 earholes when i was at the age of 14. i bleached my hair despite the strict rules in sch. i played police and thieves till late evening. i chatted online for 4-5 hrs and lied to family members tt i was doing my sch project. besides smoking n drinking, i was bad enuff to warrant attention.
i strayed away from everyone in my family because i thot my friends were my everything. often, pp asked me dumb qns like "how would you rank them? family, frens and love." my ans to them were often 1. frens 2. love 3. family.
my family would always be the last one in watever ranking.
i hated the tuition tt my parents gave me. bcos i thot i was smart enuff to make it thru on my own. i hated the meagre pocket money that my mum gave me, so i worked. i hated the curfew that she imposed on me, so i lied. i hated those nagging qns that parents asked, so i said i dunno anything to all the qns that they threw to me. i hated the times when they would ask me where i was gg to and why i was gg out, so i told them i had endless projects which was of course not true. i hated to eat at home because mum's food tasted horrible and i would find excuses to eat out all the time.
but of course, they were all in the past.
i survived it all. i graduated w good PSLE score, i went to a prestigous girls' sch and then to a 6th or 7th ranked jc and finally made it to nus. despite my rebellious ways, i still made it here.
an impt fren came along and taught me the importance of family. she showed me how laughter in family can be so warm and contagious. she showed me how comfortable home can be. she showed me how reliable family members are. she showed me how much my parents love me for who i am. she showed me how much parents would go to protect their children. she showed me how parents can find it so hard to express themselves even they love us so dearly. she showed me that how much effort my mum put in to prepare a meal for us. she made it so easy to start talking to my mum nicely. she taught me what i should to do when arguments occurred. she showed me so much and i dunno how to thank her enough for showing me the light.
i used to rem telling this fren of mine "if my mum cooks a whole chicken, one drumstick would go to my dad, one drumstick to me, one chicken wing to my sister and another one chicken wing to my youngest sister."
parents do love us this much.
in my cpf account, i have an amt that no peers can match up to. but i do not have the opportunity to enjoy family time as much as my peers.
as soon as i was enlightened, i took the opportunity to spend time w my family as much as possible. i come home early whenever i can after sch so that i can have my meals at home. though i dun see my mum alot, i try to talk to her as and when i can. whenever i do part times and have tt little amt to spare, i buy my mum her favourite stuff eg concert tix, cds, bags. i buy my sisters mobile phones tt i can afford. i treat my dad to breakfast whenever i wake up early. i study hard so that they would be proud of me and i know they really are because i am the only person studying a degree in my paternal side. i bring my family out for meals whenever i get my pay. be it a bowl of $2 fishball noodles or a plate of fried rice that may cost $10, we'll enjoy it anyhow and nothing beats the smiles that you see on the dining table.
the point of me saying all these is that i hope that my sisters or rather my youngest sister would learn how to appreciate what im trying to impose on her. i so do not wan anyone to follow my old path. because i've been there, experienced so much and i do not wan her to go thru anything like mine. how many times have we written "frens forever" in the autograph books when we were younger? look, tell me, how many "forever frens" are left now? i dun mean that frens arent reliable. i believe in frenship tt last too. but before u determine whether they are ur forever frens, open ur eyes real big.
barely 2 or even 1, i presume.
you are clearly treading on the old path tt i used to take. my job was everything tt i needed to stay out late and to gain some financial independence. i used to be so crazy over the MIRC bcos i cld find solace in strangers which i thot wasnt present at home. i used to be so proud of my access in popular channels in MIRC. i used to be so proud that i have over 200+ frens in my ICQ list. i used to be so proud when my pager beeped non-stop thru-out the entire day.
for you, u worked the morning shift and u only come home late at nite. u are so crazy over ur habbo hotel and u spent ur hard-earned money buying habbo hotel credits to exchange for intangible furnitures. you are so proud of your msn and frenster because your figures in those are alarming and u beam w pride everything u show us ur msn and frenster.
im nt against u using e internet cos i play the net e entire day when im bored. but there is no need to talk to strangers tt you dunno because u never know the dangers lurking ard in the boundless cyberspace.
but hey, think carefully. wat is the point of all those? when u need a shoulder to cry on, how many are there for you? who really knows how u are like and who really tell u the truth when sth happens?
my duty as the eldest sister is to protect u from harm and to guide u thru ur teenage years. not our parents because our generation and their generation are too different. they do not find familiarity in our fast-paced generation.
im on medication and i can barely keep my eyes opened. im gg to bed soon.
talk to me nicely and i will talk to you nicely. u cant expect me to talk to you nicely bcos u arent giving me the respect tt i need. it isnt easy being the eldest. i have alot of responsibilites that you dun know. i may not be the best eldest sister ard, but surely, i love you.
a fren tt i used to know 5 years back, dawn said "no love can be trusted upon but always rem there is this exception. parents' love would be there eternally."
siblings too.
those of you who dun agree, just simply dun read n dun comment. i aint in the best of mood.
posted by Jo | 11:27 PM
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