well well, just for updates since i have more or less settled my issue about my "comfort zone" thingie yesterday.

i had a job offer from a company a few days back. i really liked the company (well known), location (5 stops away from nus), money ($10 per hour. bloody good money can) and people (first impression) but because of the descrepancies about the benefits between the manager and the HR, i had to give it up. well i have no regrets. thou im not happy in starhub, like what LY said, if everyone is not happy there, it can be pretty fun to work together because we would gossip and whine everyday! the only thing i have headache abt is how to take leave for my brithday chalet. but most prob, i will quit by then. see how it goes first lo.

i have a story to share and i told my fren this story this afternoon too.

i heard this story when i was young too but i never knew it made so much sense until a few days back when my colleague repeated this story to me cos he was trying to make his point known to me.

there was this camel, grandfather and grandson strolling along some streets.

the grandfather was riding on the camel while the grandson walked. passer-bys saw and commented that the grandfather was heartless because he didnt take care of his grandson and made him walk. upon hearing it, the grandfather descended and made the grandson climb up.

right, and grandson was up and grandfather was on ground. then people walked by and ridiculed that the grandson was unfilal cos he made the grandfather walk while he enjoyed the comfort of being ridden.

so the grandson came down and walked side by side with his grandfather. then people started to laugh at them cos they were dumb for not making use of the available camel.

they thought about it and decided to climb up together. then people said they were too cruel to impose 2 men's weight on a poor animal. they looked at each other, not knowing what they should do next.

the moral of the story? no matter what you do (whether it is right or wrong), people always have something to say.

i saw this story in the form of email before but i deleted after reading it cos i thot of it as only a forwarded email.

but if u think about it, it makes so much sense. i told this story to my fren cos i believe she is having some hard time making choices in her life. im not too sure if this story touches her or even makes sense to her at all, all i can say it there is some truth in the moral of the story.

i dunno for most of you, but as i grow, i tend to ignore most comments except for comments from people who truly care for me. i have grown nonchalant to many things around me except for happiness and my loved ones. sometimes when people ask me things abt myself, and when i know im doing sth tt fall short of their supposedly expectations, (oh ya, expectations come into picture, i dislike this the most) i ans them and smile graciously. there is no need for me to even smile at them graciously because they are in no position to comment. but human nature is in such a way that people like to give their two cent worth. i cant deny tt im like tt too, but nowsdays i try to keep it within myself or people who are comfortable with me uttering such comments.

there are people who give constructive comments, but there is always another side to the coin. some people are plain pessimistic and stingy with their praises. they love to degrade others and question about the beauty of the person/item/issue involved. of course, we always say feedback is most welcomed in order to improve or upgrade. but there comes a point in time where valuing one's worth and happiness should be the most important focus. discarding examples where others may be harmed due to one's actions, just let's assume one is doing something harmless, i guess the main issue is one's happiness. comments that may come in may be treated with disdain or appreciation. tt will be up to the individual to accept it.

sometimes i wish people would shut their trap and stop making comments that are irrelevant to themselves. really. words are such powerful tools that can at as double sided swords. they either make or break you and i hated this fact ever since i learnt the purpose of language.

im not too sure if i make sense, i only wanna say, to grow nonchalant to comments hurled/dished to you may be the best way to protect oneself and to find the way to your own happiness because happiness is defined differently by everyone.

i could still remember when i was really young, i cared too much about others' comments that it almost turned me into some spoiled kids. i hated people to make comments on me and i would rebutt all their words. not that it made me a happier kid (in fact, i would feel angry and unhappy because i questioned myself every sec about why they would say such things. i even began to wonder if there was any truth about their comments and doubted myself), i just wanted them to know they were wrong no matter what/how they said. all they had to know was they were defeated by me.

i used to wear a fake baby g to school. baby gs were girls' to-die-for accessories then and everyone who had it was deemed cool. i wanted to be real cool too and i begged my mum to buy one. but she didnt see any sense in spending $200+ over on a watch for a 11 year old kid so in the end i never got one. then my aunt bought one for me at one of the pasar malam. unlike those obviously-fake imitations, my watch had the word baby g printed on it and it looked so real. (what was fake abt it was the shape. it was too round to be a authentic one.) so i proudly wore it to sch the next day and showed off. noone knew it was a fake until one of my fren embarrassed me in front of all my frens. tt fren of mine wore branded goods since young cos she had people who really doted on her, so she knew how to differentiate it. i was so mad and insisted that it was the real thing and even told her off cos she didnt know what was real and wat was not. i knew it was the fake thing but i cared too much about how people thought of me and i had to put her down, otherwise it would be me facing those dirty looks.

for now, if you were to catch me wearing imitations, i would gladly admit and tell you it can be as good as any of those real ones out there because the fact whether i can afford wearing branded goods and whether i buy the real thing or not do not matter to me anymore. if it matters to you so much, then it is your own business. we have so much to care about everyday, why would you wanna spend effort to poke ur nose into my business?

hmm.

one of those very real examples but i hope they make sense to people who read my blog.

stay true to yourself. take time to smell the flowers on the roads, breathe in deeply when you are rushing for time and tell yourself today is a lovely day. appreciate the fine and sunny weather, or feel the big raindrops and be glad that you have the time to watch the rain fall. sip tea slowly and have a cake. try fortune cookies when u have the time.

or say thank yous to the auntie who serves u your bowl of laska, smile to cleaners, say hello to your neighbours or even pick up the litter that u see on the floor and throw into the nearest bin. small acts like these can be theraputic.

there are only 2 choices in life. to be happy or not to be. it is easy as tt. choose the former and learn how to be. it is always easier because things are always easier to handle if they are on the brighter side.

and also, learn to praise. it does not harm and it makes someone's day. easily.

im off to bed.