Persistence.
the persistence in staying online and trying to find sth to do is irking me. i hate the me who is not doing anything at all.
i miss the As. i miss the Os. i miss mugging. mugging alone, mugging with friends. mugging outside cafes, drinking exorbitant coffees that taste like shit. mugging in the cafes for the entire day with one can of coke that cost a pathetic $1.20. i miss the extreme coldness that we experienced in libraries.
i miss work. homework i mean. they make me feel dilligent. not that i dun do work in nus anymore, but i figure out that taking the easier way out - ie to gamble with luck is so much better than working so hard and yet not seeing the equivalent/proportionate results.
i miss sleeping in lectures. (i dun sleep in lectures now, i simply skip them.)
i miss having breaks during my jc time.
i miss rushing up and down the building because we have tutorials at different classrooms in jc times.
i miss rushing down to the canteen to Q up for food because we only had 30 minutes of recess time. i miss saying hello to the sandwich uncle who never fails to brighten my day up with his contagious and wide smile.
i miss pretending to read a storybook during assembly time because the sch wanted us to improve our english. i miss gossiping w my friends.
2 years into uni life, 4 years into jc and uni life, this is probably the first time i miss my classmates.
perhaps as one is approaching the stage where we have to enter the working society in 1-2 years time, one begins to feel more apprehensive and fearful.
i dunno. i have been working all my life, but the feeling is different. because i know i will go back to sch eventually plus i have no financial responsibilties. somehow i wish im smart enuff to secure a scholarship for my masters and i can study all the way. but i know i ant.
sigh, wat to do? time to face the reality.
joanna, you are an ox. u have to do work. u arent joanna if you dont do work.
yeah i know. regaining my usual self soon. work tonight. sch ends at 12pm tmr. because im nt going for my 4-6 calculus lessons tmr.
damn it, wat did i just say?
im depressed.
call me a recluse. but i like being in the offline mode and watch people signing in and out.
i miss the As. i miss the Os. i miss mugging. mugging alone, mugging with friends. mugging outside cafes, drinking exorbitant coffees that taste like shit. mugging in the cafes for the entire day with one can of coke that cost a pathetic $1.20. i miss the extreme coldness that we experienced in libraries.
i miss work. homework i mean. they make me feel dilligent. not that i dun do work in nus anymore, but i figure out that taking the easier way out - ie to gamble with luck is so much better than working so hard and yet not seeing the equivalent/proportionate results.
i miss sleeping in lectures. (i dun sleep in lectures now, i simply skip them.)
i miss having breaks during my jc time.
i miss rushing up and down the building because we have tutorials at different classrooms in jc times.
i miss rushing down to the canteen to Q up for food because we only had 30 minutes of recess time. i miss saying hello to the sandwich uncle who never fails to brighten my day up with his contagious and wide smile.
i miss pretending to read a storybook during assembly time because the sch wanted us to improve our english. i miss gossiping w my friends.
2 years into uni life, 4 years into jc and uni life, this is probably the first time i miss my classmates.
perhaps as one is approaching the stage where we have to enter the working society in 1-2 years time, one begins to feel more apprehensive and fearful.
i dunno. i have been working all my life, but the feeling is different. because i know i will go back to sch eventually plus i have no financial responsibilties. somehow i wish im smart enuff to secure a scholarship for my masters and i can study all the way. but i know i ant.
sigh, wat to do? time to face the reality.
joanna, you are an ox. u have to do work. u arent joanna if you dont do work.
yeah i know. regaining my usual self soon. work tonight. sch ends at 12pm tmr. because im nt going for my 4-6 calculus lessons tmr.
damn it, wat did i just say?
im depressed.
call me a recluse. but i like being in the offline mode and watch people signing in and out.
posted by Jo | 10:46 PM
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